“Who Pastor’s the Pastor’s Wife?”

Although this question may bring many different answers, the reality is that first and foremost, it is Jesus Christ — and of course, the pastor of the church. Yet when you are married to the pastor, this can sometimes be a challenge. Pastors’ wives face a variety of unique pressures and, especially in Japan, are often overlooked, lonely, and quietly struggling.

I have had the privilege of serving alongside other sisters in Christ to provide intentional support and care specifically for pastors’ wives. In early February, I was one of three facilitators for a four-day retreat designed just for them. Seven Japanese women traveled from around the Kyoto region to attend.

From the very first day, the women were eager and deeply thankful for this dedicated time. Together, we created simple guidelines to shape our days — phrases like “Come as you are” and “Don’t compare yourself to others.” One woman read aloud, “This time is for you,” and immediately began to cry at the realization that something was set aside just for her.

Over the four days, we covered themes such as sin and repentance, identity in Christ, navigating roles, building community, and supporting our husbands in ministry. Even — and especially — as pastors’ wives, we can spend so much time proclaiming the Gospel that we forget the Gospel is also the power that transforms our own hearts. It was beautiful to watch these women rediscover those truths, moving from simply learning concepts to actively applying the Gospel in their daily lives.

It was a sweet gift to see a new support system forming among women in similar seasons of life — even across different denominations — all sharing a desire to support their husbands and reach Japan for Christ. It was a privilege to witness those “lightbulb moments” as they remembered the sweetness of the Gospel and were freshly reminded of the wonder and power of God’s amazing grace.

This was my fourth time facilitating this type of retreat. I love serving under the Japanese director, and each time I walk away personally encouraged. It is refreshing to know that others share similar struggles and experiences.

Please pray for these women — and for me — as we seek to love our husbands, families, and churches well. Pray that we would continue to grow deeply in the Gospel and in our understanding of God’s grace.